I grew up in a largely bigoted area, a small town with an almost exclusively white population. After years of living away from the place, the racist attitudes became obvious to me when I’d visit, and it got to the point where I didn’t want to even have contact with certain relatives anymore because the conversations were so uncomfortable. My mother used to preface things with “I’m not a racist, but [fill in completely racist remark].” When I’d dare to call it out, I got the speech about how she had that one black friend, and how she supposedly never thought about skin color.

Even though I’ve fought hard against it, every so often one of my kids will point out something I’ve said to them that has a hint of racism, and I’m glad they’re willing to say something so I’m more aware of even the subtle stuff. It’s not who I am, and I certainly don’t want to hold onto any attitudes I’m not even aware of.