I was never physically abused in the way you were, Mallory, but my heart goes out to you in support. My older sister is a terrible narcissist (with all the lying, manipulation, and god complex that goes along with it) and my parents never thought she did anything wrong. As we grew older, she betrayed and hurt me and my family over and over, and I kept trying to maintain a decent relationship because she was my only sibling and I figured once my parents died, that was my only family. Well . . . when my parents died, I found out my sister’s treachery was even worse (and it had all but destroyed my relationship with my parents for the final 20 years of their lives), and the only solution was for me to cut off all ties with her. I keep in touch with my nieces but have not spoken to my sister in over three years now, and I finally have peace.

Before I’d gone through this, I could never understand how someone would cut off ties with immediate family. I was inwardly judgmental at how someone could be that “petty” and couldn’t just be a bigger person about things. As an evangelical Christian, I struggled with the love and forgiveness aspect as well. Now, though, I get it. When someone is toxic, it doesn’t matter whether they’re related by blood or not. BLOOD DOES NOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE. In fact, if anything, it’s worse because we expect our family to love us unconditionally, and that shattering that trust hurts worse.

I’m glad you have your family of friends! I do as well. I’m only sorry it took me until I was over 50 to wise up and get healthy. You take care of yourself and don’t listen to anyone who hasn’t walked in your shoes. Big hugs to you!