I’d love to see people hold on to their virginity until marriage, but for the right reasons. Only one of my three kids is married so far, but the two who aren’t are still waiting for marriage, and the married one (and his wife) also waited. However, they all have a healthy view of sex, because we never told them it was bad. We tried to stress that it’s the kind of fun you really only want to have with someone you love and trust and are committed to. My husband and I had our share of partners before marriage, and though each experience in life makes us who we are today (and there’s no time machine, so no sense in regretting every choice), I honestly wish he’d been the only one for me.

I just wish those who teach purity would give a better “why” instead of making it sound like an evil act outside of marriage and then a duty within marriage. Nobody ever does well with “because I said so.”