We lost one of our children to Trisomy 13 before he was five years old. When my husband was diagnosed five years ago with liver cancer, there were those people who couldn't believe something like this would happen because we'd already suffered enough. As if God checks things off a list and skips those who have already had one major tragedy.

You're doing what you need to do right now for your wife and yourself: trusting that God will walk with you both through this, and being purposeful to walk with each other through it. Well-meaning Christians will give you bad "encouragement" similar to toxic positivity, but ignore them and grieve if you need to, get angry if you want to. God already knows how you're feeling.

I'm glad you're a writer, because that's just such a healthy way to process it all.