We're currently bracing ourselves to navigate this very issue, so the list of suggestions are helpful. Our second child has recently told us they're trans, and not looking to do anything drastic but rather just want to look into what that means for them. They're married, and their wife is supportive of this (one of my big concerns, because it's a good marriage) and she says she loves Jeff the person, no matter how they present themselves.

They haven't come out to the extended family, but they've recently begun wearing Goth style eye makeup to family events after using makeup for a few years now at concerts and other peer-oriented social events. My brother-in-law asked (after seeing this on Mother's Day last week), "Does Jeff always wear that eye makeup?" and of course I answered (thinking of the day-to-day), "No, not really, just for events and stuff," and my husband jumped in with, "Well, more often than not, though." And my BIL said, rather hesitantly, "Oh. Whatever makes him happy, I suppose."

My BIL is kind, and he's an artist, so he is more open than most while still being a rather conservative thinker when it comes to gender and roles and all that. So I could tell he didn't quite get it but would never be rude about it. But my husband replied, "He seems to be happier recently than in a long time," and my BIL just nodded and left it at that. So I consider that a good first step.